It’s so easy to be caught up in whatever people called materialism or materialistic, buying too many clothes that some we never even wear; too many things, we want and we need. We also like variety, extra, updated version, newest trend, and you only really realize the moment you move, that you have so many things, whether necessary or unnecessary, with you, and you complain “why do i have so many things?!”
i like shopping and buying things too, but i consider myself more of a conscious buyer. i like to support brand and business, and i like to try new things, too. So whenever i’m out shopping, there is never a time i would just window shop and not spend a dime on anything. maybe i’m materialistic, but i am not crazy, and i think i know money is hard to make, since now i work and have my first full time job that doesn’t pay much.
I was raised in a relatively well-off family back in China, and i never really care about things, or money, let’s say. and i wasn’t really aware of the privilege i had back then. Still up until college, i never worry about paying tuition, rent, car or hesitation on buying stuff because of money. However, i am aware since college that i should consume less, and only have the things i really need and which would also enrich my life.
Now that i’m out of school, and all on my own (still partially financially dependent) working in a new city, every week Mon-Fri 8 hours of work, doing i think the boring job, and making only little money which is not even enough of my own regular spending. Of course i can manage to spend less, and make my spending tighter, but i don’t want to. I now spend the money not for pure consumption or want, but i spend my money on quality and improvement.
I want lot of money, and i don’t think this is greediness, and i know that i have to take my chances and earn it. i don’t know why i have this sudden massive drive of wanting more – money. i think if i spend most of my time in my career, i want my time and integrity to be worthy, and money is one of the ways to measure, i think, my worthiness and value in this world. i think money can buy me anything, and i put it as a priority than anything else, say relationship.
i want to be able to afford things that are expensive and would increase my quality of life and personal growth. money can clear many problems out of the way, and one thing is that when you have lots of money, then you would not have to care about the most frequent problem of “can’t afford it” or “not enough money”.
When i have lots of money, i would not necessarily spend it on expensive sports cars, luxurious brands, but i want to spend it on a nice house, the ones that are by the ocean or close to the mountains, the ones that are close to nice running and hiking places, and i want to buy a piano, and i want to buy concert tickets that are closer to the stage, too…
Ah, how can i afford it? What can i do to make it happen?
That day I went to my friend’s mom’s friends home in Alameda, and their two stories house is right by the ocean overseeing San Francisco and the bay bridge. They have a nice grand piano at home and there is also a beautiful path by the ocean just right in front of their yard. I kept thinking, wow, this is so beautiful ! This view, the ocean and the city… it kinda reminds me of Gatsby, and that he is the person who has so much power and money, and he likes to overlooking the other side of the ocean, for the lovely girl of her dream Daisy…
I wish I would live in a house like this (I wish to live in many houses whichever ones I’ve even seen and liked). But man, the view! Isn’t it how the quality of life should be? A nice balcony and backyard with good view that make all your trouble goes away.
But and then, my other question is, if I do live in one of these beautiful houses by the ocean with spectacular view, will I still cherish and have this “wow” moment every time i see the view and stand by the ocean?
Is it only the process of wanting and earning the most meaningful and satisfactory? And once we got to the top and have it all, we would realized nothing means anything and last forever?